Navigating Changes

Rise at dawn, toil through the day,
Dinner then rest, in this mundane array.
Each passing week, a relentless grind that feels too deep,
leaving behind scars, of an ailing mind.
Once the timetable sparkled a gleam,
Now it's the essence of a haunting dream.
Once exciting, it is now the bane of my mind.
Am I evolving, or resisting the tide?
In this sea of change, where do I reside?
What stirred my excitement to the mundanity in life?
They say abrupt shifts court demise,
On some days, I yearn to simply, close my eyes.
On some days, all I wanted to do was just lie down on the bed;
On other days, I was motivated to do something;
Yearning to reclaim what's been thinned...
And on some days, I think " From now on let's love myself".
But on other days everything just seems futile.
A pendulum swinging between pace and grace.
And on some days when I'm fired up to strive.
There were also days,
When unemployment feels like a lure,
To rediscover what it means to be free.
I want to put these conflicting urges to rest.